Freed

22nd June, 2023

Hi. 

Its been almost four years, since I've said Hello to myself. Wow! F*ck! 

It has been really long. Sorry not sorry about the power word. 

Writing after so long. Anxious? Yes! 

Honestly more than anything else, I hate my keyboard right now. Even though its from a kind friend and he was generous enough to give it to me, but the keys work like a toddler. I mean, my brain is shooting a zillion neurons right now, but this is not working at the same pace. But now that this vent is over, let's get going to what happened last time, and why I went AWOL. 

Let me recall, I was going on with my fitness regime, and shredding carbs,which lets face it, happens rarely, but yes, I was getting fitter and my mental health was getting better as well, and then suddenly my chakras and stars aligned and I got to a new job which was definitely a good thing. 

My usual habit of competing with myself, and making myself the best at everything started as usual and then I just lost myself in it. Most people would be thinking about me being nuts to call myself lost, specially when your work life is going fantastic. But truth be told, nobody likes a workaholic.

Well, to even things out, I tried dating as well, and honestly, those weren't bad. Okay they mostly were BAD. They were poor communicators, and a lot of other adjectives that I wouldn't want to use right now. Lets face it, everyone wants to f*ck around, but ask them to stick around for long, for a lifetime, boy they are scared as hell. But, I cannot blame them entirely, they weren't the greatest of people to begin with. Fool around with them, you are good. I don't want that. Hell! I don't think anyone wants that. 

These people were simply a collage of failures. Everyone deserves someone whose heart is in the right place. Who will love you without questions, who will respect your needs, sit with you peacefully, and cope with you on days when sh*t gets real. 

Is it so foolish to believe that a love like this exists? Absolutely not!

I ''smile'', and you can quote me later, Love isn't lost. It exists, and in a way which can surprise your heart. You can't make a reel out of it. Its a feeling that absorbs you and me, together. So much so, that your heart is undeniably overwhelmed with unspoken words, that makes your eyes say it all. With that, I shall bid you Goodbye, for now. 

- MoonShines