Aastitva - A Manifestion!

 

~How does your morning start?

With a cup of tea in a lazy body?
Oh please don’t ask me mine,

I insist, you say!

My day starts when,

I hide in my underpants to sleep a little more,

But my mother kisses me to say it’s time my dear, and I say oh no!

It’s not you my sunshine, I say to the sun,

It’s the voice(s) I hear which makes my soul ache!

With what my friend, you ask?

Oh the list goes on and on!

I grew up to the thought when books wrote,

I want my Prince to be like my daddy!

But what do you do, when your daddy isn’t your perfect little world?

Tell me more you said, was he bad to you, did he hurt you?

Oh no, no!

He never hurt me, not in the ways you'd imagine!

He loved me, adored me, and still does, as a prize possession!

I was a kid and he loved me,

I was a teenager and he loved me,

I grew up and he still loved a part of me!

I never knew I would be a rebel in the family,

I was smarter; I was braver than the rest of the lot, who frowned upon me,

Most of the times he liked the rebel in me,

Especially when I fenced him amongst his sisters!

He would raise his voice only on us,

Me and my mom,

But of all I saw how my mother struggles daily,

Wobbling and doing everything on her own,

Never crying ever, and loving us unconditionally!

 I would either call it amazing or stupid,

I think I would always choose the former!

So when did your dad really hurt you, you asked again!

Well, when he never cared to help my mom out,

When he never hugged any of us when it was needed,

He swore by his stupidity all the time,

And pride himself on that too!

I always pretend that I come from a family, where everything is gay,

Where every face smiles,

Where we sit together to eat, as it is a celebration,

Where we talk as if lives matter,

But most certainly, none of it is true,

Maybe some part of it is true!

Yes! We sit together to eat almost every day,

But, the merry mostly ends after we try talking about things out of the way!

It ends in a way, which is brutal to the heart,

Where the love from meal also tries to leave us,

But I try, and will always try to hold the love at least of the meal,

Not because I care about the conversation,

But because I see the joy and heart and pure love my mom puts into it,

Even if that food makes me chubby, I will still love it!

My day whichever way starts, it mostly ends with a lot of love,

Because my mom becomes my father and my mother and also my happy place,

Because she listens to everybody,

Even me!

She knows, what I want,

 What I like,

Whom I like,

Who will love me!

 And also who might not!

 Your mom sounds amazing and your father doesn’t seem bad either, you said!

You are right!

They both precisely are good people!

 I tell the same thing to myself every day,

Like others, even I try to find silver linings in almost every little thing,

But the simplest thing which divides the line between them is very simple,

Let me tell you,

My father belittles everything around him, even people,

My mother frets about little things too,

But she is elated too most of the times!

All these times when I faired greatly,

My mother found joy, prayed, thanked god, danced with me,

I could find that elation in her eyes,

But each time I tried to find the similar happiness in my father’s eyes,

And I felt a wacky feeling in my stomach!

What was that wacky feeling my friend, you asked?

I don’t know would have been my answer if this was yesterday!

Then tell me, curious you asked again,

It was ‘hurt’!

I realized with all these years of distress,

It was the lack of love that I felt my father had towards me,

He still loves me,

But not with the imperfections and impairments I have!

I feel the hugs, and the voice of love can last you a lifetime,

The clashes are also a part of our existence,

But holding on to the tussle can let go off the love!

I still continue to love my father in abundance,

Just not quite as much as I would for my mother!

Her greatness inspires me to love with immense passion,

Inspires me to forgive every day,

And to be kind to everyone!

That is why my friend,

The Prince of my life should be someone,

To whom I could proudly point there he is,

My mommy’s reflection! 

- Moon Shines!! ~