~ The Universe & I ~

 

 On days when my mind cannot and does not want to keep up with me, and run thoughts vaguely of you, I simply think, HOW ME? 

Well, the Universe is the cupid of our lives my love. 

I've been in love before, drunk in the feelings of someone around me and with me, thoughts that have ruined many nights and have ended up in only wet pillow covers, and even smeared mascaras. The type of love that consumes us all and scoops the life out of us. The type of love that ends in only pain and suffering. Where you are nothing less than a fallen leaf. Dead. Soulless. Carved out from the inside. Love that makes you forget that there's life around you. 

So, it's safe to say, I've had my fair share of loveless, lifeless romances. The type which includes only you and a disfigured version of you twice living in the dilemma of ever having a chance to be loved by somebody who has not ever loved or been thoughtful of your situation. But that is what makes it so thrilling. If it were not for the many ugly frogs, the princess would have never dared to meet the PRINCE. 

When I say that I wish for everyone to have a chance to be in Love, the kind I have been in, I mean it. 

The way I've grown up is totally a world of extreme emotions that canvas my walls. I never see 2 sides of the coin. I am an OCTOPUS. Everything around me is ten times brighter, bigger, bolder, and larger than life like. So why Me?  I ask again.

You see, I've always wanted a Prince. The one who is kind, thoughtful, genuine, brave, funny, on whom you can trust to take a leap with, and the one who is respectful. Seems too much, right? Had I been blabbering this to my girls, I would have witnessed a smack in the face. 

I've always wanted a love that needs no wordily validation. But until I witnessed  it, I did not believe how very powerful it is. It shakes you to the core and still somehow manages to firmly hold you to the ground. Gathering the courage to try to put in words will be an understatement. It is not a difficulty to feel what you feel. It is a mixture of constant amazement and an overwhelming feeling. Its like one minute I was under the collapsing bridge, the next I am a rescued damsel. 

The Universe has a very funny way of showing its ways. You can never really know what the next move is. Just when you're about to give up on the one beautiful undefining feeling, you have the most unexpected encounter. You try to move on in life, but somehow you keep going back to that one hug, and all that talk on ''Let's move on'' is such a waste. 

Don't get me wrong, moving on is good, and I like moving on with my life too. But how are you so sure of moving on when your heart pulls back to that one singular moment. Are you sure, I ask myself  over & over again. Is it worth it? Risking it all for one moment, and for one person? 

I say, YES.

I say, let's take a leap of faith. Let's fall in Love again!  

But little do you know, loving him also means loving yourself. Funny, isn't it! 

In the years of my life that I've spent being scared, I never met a man like him. The man who not only speaks his mind, but also reads your soul. With whom all your walls collapse. With whom, my body fat is simply me being curvy. With whom being flawed is perfection. With him I feel like the prettiest girl in the world. 

So, even though, I am trying to make a point, I'm not able to because you have admit, there are some things in life out of bounds, with no control. If the Universe says, that I get the guy of my dreams, who am I to question. 

But let me tell you, the kind of Love this is, it only makes you better. Better at loving, better at kindness, and mostly it makes you want to be better for your partner. 

And I think that is enough for me to be content with. I need not get all the answers at once, but I can simply have faith and let the Universe take me for a rollercoaster ride. 🧿🩵✨

Love & Light ,

Moon Shines.